If only it were true
by HR always live on
Summary: No final calamity here. A nice happy HR look. Goodness fluff and everything needed after the finale. Now Complete!
1. Chapter 1

_I lied. More HR fiction from me. I've changed my name from Hannah337 but it is still me, I promise. This has been inspired by xxmentalistxxspooksxx "what they forgot to mention" and is set post 10:6. Ridiculous in places but hopefully enjoyable._

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><p>She was home. Ruth looked at her front door, breathing heavy. "Are you okay?" Harry asked. She closed her eyes in frustration as she got out of the taxi.<p>

"For the fifteenth time, yes," she said glaring at him. But she couldn't stay mad at him for too long. Especially when an arm slid around her waist at the same time as he unlocked the door with his other hand. Ruth walked into her kitchen and sat down as she wondered how long she'd continue to live her. Her other house… her dream house was waiting for her. She wondered absently if she'd ever live in it. Her thoughts were distracted when Harry put a hot mug of tea into her hands. Her fingers wrapped around it from habit and she took a sip.

"You know you're the only one who ever puts sugar in my tea," Ruth said as Harry sat opposite her.

Harry looked so crestfallen that she felt slightly guilty. "I can make you another…" he started.

"No," she put her hand on his lightly. "That's not what I meant. I was just making an observation." She took a reassuring sip and he relaxed slightly. Ruth took a deep breath and felt a sharp pain in her left lung. She managed to hide the pain but her eyes closed. She was back, lying on the cold ground, Harry's hand caressing her face as he thought she was dying. His other hand trying to keep her blood from flowing out of her body. The pain… the white hot pain that went through her just before her heart temporarily stopped. The gasp that she made when the adrenaline burned through her bloodstream. Back in the present she felt Harry's grip tighten on her hand.

"What is it?" he asked in a low voice.

"I was thinking," Ruth started. "Well… remembering. I thought I was going to die. I thought…"

"Its okay," he said in a hollow voice, his eyes boring into hers. "I thought that too. But you didn't. You're here."

"Were you… serious?" Ruth asked. "About our life together. Its okay, if you didn't mean it. We both thought I had a matter of seconds before I died. I know you were trying to comfort me. I know that you were trying to make it…. easier for me to leave."

Her eyes were locked with his as he leant forward and brushed his lips against hers. So soft and gentle. It was wonderful. When he broke away from her she was shocked and slightly embarrassed at how fast her heart was beating, just from that simple touch.

"I know that's only the fourth time I've kissed you, but yes I meant it."

Ruth nodded happily. Then thought about it. "Fourth?" she questioned.

"When you left five years ago, three weeks ago when the Americans wanted me and… when your heart stopped."

"No wonder I don't remember that one," she said sadly. "Although I will admit my heart wasn't exactly steady when you kissed me just then." Harry looked at her intensely and then the moment was broken by his mobile phone ringing. Sighing Harry let go of her hand and answered it.

"Yes," he said sharply. "I don't know." Harry looked at Ruth for a second and then it seemed as if he had decided something. "Dimitri, I want you to do something for me." A long pause during which Harry kissed the top of Ruth's head briefly. "Okay, go into my office. Third desk draw has a false bottom. Lift it up and you should find a letter in there. I want you to deliver that to the Home Secretary for me." Ruth stared at him as she knew what he was implying. "Thanks Dimitri." Harry put the phone down and looked at Ruth as she tried to work out what to say.

"You're resigning?" she asked blankly.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you asked me to leave the service with you," Harry said with a smile. "So I want a little glimmer of happiness with you. However brief it may be."

"I hope it won't be brief," Ruth replied with a small smile. She looked out of the window and it was with a shock that she saw it getting dark. She hadn't realised how much time had passed. She suddenly felt very uncomfortable as unsaid implications almost threw themselves into her mind. "Do you want to stay here tonight?" Ruth asked, without knowing where that came from.

"I… are you sure?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, it'll be nice," she said with a blush and a smile at the same time. He smiled back at her. He noticed her closing her eyes for a second.

"You look tired," he murmured.

"I feel tired," she replied with a smile. An echo of their conversation a few weeks ago. She got up and he stood up at the same time. She leant into his chest and he carefully wrapped his arms around her, wanting to be careful of her injury. She pulled her head away from him so she could look into his eyes. "I love you." Without pausing for breath he kissed her hard. It was so passionately wonderful that she forgot to breathe. Which wasn't a brilliant idea with a recently collapsed lung. She pulled away from him when she started to feel light headed.

"Sorry," Harry said sincerely. "I keep forgetting…"

"Don't apologise," Ruth said. "Please, don't ever apologise for kissing me, especially when you kiss me like that." There was a second or two of silence when she blushed.

"What is it?" Harry asked, intensely curious about where her thoughts were wandering off to.

"I would really like a bath but… I can't get this bandage off by myself. Can you help me?"

"Of course I will," Harry said, a small smile twitching on his lips. His lustful thoughts however vanished when they got up to the bathroom. She moved to unbutton her blouse when Harry's hands took over, quickly but gently. "I must admit that I never imagined the first time I undressed you was because you needed help getting a bandage off. I'm slightly disappointed," he added in a teasing voice.

"Hmm," Ruth said with a smile as her blouse fell to the bathroom floor. She had her back to him and felt a hand on her shoulder. Closing her eyes, she let his presence comfort her. She felt Harry's hands on her back, pulling the bandage free, slowly unwrapping it. Every time the bandage slipped from her left side she sucked in her breath. It hurt, every little movement made a twinge of pain go through her.

"Sorry," Harry murmured into her neck, knowing this was hurting her.

"Its okay," she said at the same moment the bandage fell away. Harry's hands were on her ribcage, carefully avoiding the wound. After a minute he turned her around and looked at the red scar on her white skin. She felt embarrassed but his gaze was immovable. "Harry…" she started but got distracted when he knelt on the floor and set his lips on her wound carefully and gently.

"Does that hurt?" he murmured against her skin.

"Only a little," she replied with her eyes closed. She wanted to focus on how Harry's lips felt on her skin rather than anything else. But he moved, just far enough away so that it wouldn't pain her. Kissing her stomach slowly, making his way to her right side. "Stop Harry," she breathed heavily. He got to his feet and the disappointment etched on his face was clear. "Not that I'm not enjoying myself because I am," she clarified. "But I feel at a disadvantage." For the first time Harry looked at her white bra, fully appreciating the way she filled it and a blush appeared on her cheeks. "Harry… let me have a bath, and I promise this conversation will be continued later."

"I'll hold you to that," he assured her. He turned away and closed the bathroom door behind him, but not before she saw the glint in his eyes. Ruth went to lock the door but then she changed her mind. She'd leave it unlocked and see if that might encourage anything to happen. You never knew, she thought to herself as she turned the taps on, moaning slightly as she had to bend to do it. She needed a bath, she needed to feel clean, she thought as she lowered herself into the water. Her eyes closed of their own accord and her hand drifted to her stomach. The skin Harry had just touched with his lips. It was certainly going to be an interesting evening.

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><p><em>A review will make me smile! (Even though I lied that I wasn't writing anymore HR fics. Couldn't even last a week. No self control...)<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_As you're all such wonderful reviewers I've posted the next chapter tonight rather than tomorrow. Hope you enjoy as much as the first_

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><p>She had been in the bath ten minutes when she could hear noises from her bedroom. "Harry?" she asked tentatively. She heard him walk up to the bathroom door quickly.<p>

"Are you okay?"

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said swiftly.

"Liar," she said without heat. "Can you get me a glass of wine?" she asked changing the subject.

"Okay," he said clearly surprised. "Red or white?"

"I only ever buy red," she replied through the closed door. She heard him laugh and then descend the stairs to the kitchen. She waited, feeling butterflies in her stomach as he came back upstairs. She made sure the bubbles were covering her modesty just before there was a quiet knock on the bathroom door. "You can come in," she replied, trying to hide her nervousness. It took a long few seconds before the door swung open. Ruth was pleased to see that his jacket, shoes and tie had all been abandoned, leaving him looking gorgeously rumpled and at home. He walked in slowly and handed her a glass which she was dismayed to see was only a third full.

"Generally you pour more wine than your usual whisky serving," she said as her hand snaked out of the water to take the glass.

"Mm, and I know what painkillers you're currently on," Harry said, controlling his voice with difficulty. "I'm not having you mix them with alcohol. So that's all you're getting." She thought about how best to construct her argument when her eyes became hypnotised by Harry's. He was leaning over the bathtub and inching closer to her. She knew it and he knew it too. His lips grazed hers so softly. It was barely even a touch, but the sparks that flew between them were enough. Ruth reached out for him with her one free hand, pulling him closer, her fingertips running through his short hair, ignoring the dampness that seeped onto his shirt. He nipped her bottom lip with his teeth for a second and she drew away with surprise. However his cheeky smile on his face made her lean forward to kiss him again.

It was a few minutes before she realised his attention wasn't on her face anymore. Then she knew what she'd done. She had been holding him so tightly that she'd sat up in the bath and risen a few inches. Her breasts were above the water level and she knew he was getting a good long look. And judging from his face, he was liking what he saw. She slipped back down in the tub and heard his breath come out in a sigh. "Enjoying yourself?" she asked, taking a sip of wine to try and hide her flushed face.

"You're the one who didn't lock the bathroom door while you were naked in the bath," Harry countered. "And then invited me in. What am I supposed to think?"

"That temptation might have got the better of me?" she suggested with a sparkle in her blue eyes. She finished off her small serving of wine and leant over to place it on the floor, her hair brushing against his shirt as she did so.

"I'm going to leave you to it because otherwise I'm not sure if I'll be able to control myself," he said in a heavy voice. She laughed lightly as he closed the door behind him. Looking around she found her favourite orange and vanilla body wash and lathered it all over her, having a feeling that it might have a small benefit tonight.

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><p>Wrapped in her fluffy dressing gown she opened the bathroom door and gasped. There were hundreds of tiny candles lit all around her bedroom, bathing it in a beautiful golden glow. It looked completely fairytale-ish. "Oh Harry," she murmured as his hands crept around her waist, lips kissing the bare skin behind her ear. "Where did you get all these candles?" she asked.<p>

"Always so practical," he murmured into her ear, making her shiver. "Does it matter?" She shook her head as his hands rose carefully. He kissed her neck and then turned her around, looking serious. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea," he said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't need anything to happen tonight, I promise you that. I just want to be with you, that's all."

Ruth looked at the floor and for a moment Harry thought he'd broken the moment spectacularly. "Harry," she said shaking her head slightly and raising her head to look at him, showing all the honesty she had in her. "I've been waiting for this… for us, for nine years. I've pretended to be dead for three years, I've actually nearly died, you were shot and most recently you almost got extradited to the US. Bombs, gunshots, funerals, terrorists… we've survived them all. And you're telling me nothings going to happen? I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in my entire life."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing and he could do nothing but smile. Both of his hands cradled her face before he kissed her firmly. Her fingertips dipped under his collar and then moved lower to try and undo the buttons. She desperately wanted to feel his chest under her hands. Suddenly she felt the ground vanish from her feet as Harry picked her up in his arms. She buried her head into his neck before he put her on the bed gently.

"Be thankful the bed wasn't too far away," Harry murmured and she laughed. "Couldn't keep carrying you for long at my age." He kissed her lips lightly and then she shuffled away from him.

"I think that brings our number of kisses into double digits now," she whispered.

"I'm not going to argue with you," he said as his hand rose up her thigh gently touching her soft skin. She sighed as he moved so, so slowly. His hand rested on her hip as his lips kissed her neck. She felt a moment of wariness as he was getting very close to her stab wound. "I won't hurt you," he murmured feeling her tense. "I promise I'll never hurt you."

"I know," she replied as his fingers pulled her dressing gown apart. She felt her face flush as he stared at her, skin still slightly damp.

"I love you," he whispered when his eyes caught hers. "I've always loved you."

"I know that too," she repeated. "Now take your shirt off." He happily complied being careful as he threw it to the floor so it wouldn't catch fire on the candles he'd spent ages arranging.

In the soft, gentle candlelight he carefully and torturously slowly made love to her for the first time, always being careful of her stab wound. Taking his time, making every second last an eternity, making sure she was enjoying it as much as he was, making one hundred percent sure that she wasn't in any pain. And it had been perfect. It had been wonderful. He turned to her and noticed that her breathing was still heavy.

"Are you okay?" he asked, worried after having a collapsed lung. Worried that he might have pushed her quicker than what she was physically capable of. She turned and faced him, kissing his lips briefly.

"Yes," she said firmly. "I am very, very okay. I just can't seem to catch my breath. Give me a minute." He did, all the time stroking her hair as her breathing came back to normal. Her skin was still glistening in the candlelight and he placed a kiss over her heart. "That's better," she said to herself, pulling the duvet cover over both of them. She sighed in satisfaction as he pulled her back to his chest. This felt so good. So right.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked in a low voice.

"Shut up," she said firmly, resting her head on the pillows and closing her eyes. He laughed and waited until her breathing settled into the rhythm of sleep. A rhythm he hoped would become familiar to him. He kissed the back of her neck and waited until the candles burnt out, not wanting to unwrap himself from her arms. He'd purposefully bought cheap candles, to make sure they didn't last too long. Not that he'd planned this exactly but he had been slightly optimistic. With a grin he slept next to her, comforted by her weight against his chest in the darkness.

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><p><em>I hope I've kept this at a T rating rather than straying to an M. More soon. Reviews make me want to post quicker so leave one!<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_This chapter took an intteresting turn all on its own..._

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><p>They both woke up to Harry's phone ringing. "Shit," Harry cursed, trying to find his jacket. Then he remembered he'd hung it on the back of Ruth's chair. Quickly getting out of bed he reached for it before snuggling back down, arms around a now awaken Ruth. "Yes!" he said sharply, annoyed that he'd been woken up, Ruth had been woken up and that he'd been robbed of the chance of waking up next to her beautiful sleeping face. Ruth However had a different idea. She turned in his arms and kissed his chest repeatedly. Open mouthed. Her tongue drawing patterns against his skin.<p>

"Dimitri…" Harry started and then lost his thoughts as Ruth's tongue continued its work. "Yes, I know. Listen…" he tailed off again. This very one sided conversation went on for ten minutes until Ruth decided she'd had enough. She reached for the phone, even as she was lying on top of Harry.

"Dimitri, its Ruth," she said with a falsely sweet smile as Harry laughed at her. She could almost hear his embarrassment down the phone line. "Yes, I got discharged yesterday. Now, is this phone call horribly important? Because Harry and I are rather busy at the moment. I can describe what we're doing right now and what we were doing last night in excruciating detail or leave it to your very vivid and capable imagination." There was a pause and Harry could guess that Dimitri was trying to talk himself out of this awkward conversation. "Okay," Ruth said with her eyes twinkling. "Harry'll call you when we're no longer busy. Goodbye Dimitri." She shut the phone and handed it back to Harry while he tried to contain his laughter.

"I never knew you had a wicked side," he murmured pulling her body back down on top of his.

"He was interrupting," Ruth said against Harry's cheek. "And he woke us both up. He should be thankful I didn't describe every kiss and touch that's now burnt its way into my memory." Harry was about to say something but changed his mind when Ruth kissed him. Mouths could be used for better things he decided.

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><p>Dimitri was staring at the phone torn between horror and amusement. He was really pleased the Harry and Ruth seemed to have gotten over their reticence but she had given him some images he really didn't need at nine in the morning. Or at any time, he corrected himself mentally.<p>

"What did Harry say about Towers?" Erin asked as she walked towards him.

"Nothing," Dimitri said. "I couldn't get further than the visual of Ruth lying naked on top of him."

Callum, who was in earshot spat his coffee all over his computer screen but didn't bother cleaning it up. He turned his chair around and stared at Dimitri. "Harry told you that? Harry who considers it a breech of dress code that I keep showing up without a tie? And he told you that he and Ruth…"

"No, she told me," Dimitri said. He recounted the conversation which ended with Erin in hysterical fits of giggles next to him while Callum looked completely horrified.

"So instead of asking Harry about Towers new security detail while Ruth is recovering you…"

"Got treated to Ruth in a temper, doing things to Harry which I'd really rather not think about. Yes," Dimitri surmised. Erin caught Callum's eyes and they all started laughing. They had just about subsided when the pods whirred open. Towers stood there. With difficulty they all kept a straight face as he looked towards Harry's office.

"I wanted to talk to Harry about this resigning nonsense," Towers said. "Any ideas where he is?" The three spooks managed to avoid each others eyes and not laugh but only just. Erin spoke first.

"I think he's having a lay in this morning," she said quietly trying to ignore Dimitri's face.

"Most unlike him," Towers said. "I'll give him a ring in a minute. Anyone had any news on Ruth? Last I heard she was in hospital."

"Yes, she's been discharged," Erin said. "She's at home recovering."

"Yeah and lets not focus on _what _she's recovering from," Callum murmured but it was loud enough for everyone to hear. Towers looked from Callum's sarcastic face to Dimitri who was still trying not to laugh. It took perhaps thirty seconds before he got it.

"Ah," Towers said politely. "When Harry's less… distracted can you have him call me?"

"Of course Home Secretary," Erin replied. She closed her eyes as the grid was left in relative silence. But at least they were happy, she thought as she started to sift through the files. They'd waited long enough after all.

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><p><em>Please leave a review and I'll get the next chapter up asap. xxx<em>


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm sorry for the late update. I work in a hotel and am doing a split shift today so everything's late. Enjoy the HR goodness..._

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><p>It was half past eleven in the morning when Harry woke up again, this time rather more naturally. His right arm felt dead and as he turned he saw why. Ruth was lying on it. But what really worried him was that she was lying on her front, and while he loved looking at her smooth back he was concerned that she was hurting her stab wound. So he decided to wake her. Pulling his arm back slowly he was surprised that she didn't wake. So instead he kissed the base of her spine gently, moving steadily up her back. He got to a freckle in between her shoulder blades when she woke. He felt her stretch her muscles slightly and saw her smile, face peering out from under her hair. "Morning," he whispered before kissing the base of her neck.<p>

"Is it still morning?" she asked without moving.

"Just." Ruth smiled and turned over. Her smile turned into a grimace of pain. "Its okay," Harry said, supporting her weight with his hands, helping her roll over onto her back. "Its okay," he repeated more to himself than her. "You're alright?"

"Yes," she said calmly. "That just hurt a little. That's all."

Harry watched her for a moment and felt guilt swamp him. "We shouldn't have done that last night."

"And this morning," Ruth said with a small smile.

"And this morning," Harry echoed. "I shouldn't have done that, I should have waited. Waited until you were healed."

"Harry. I couldn't wait," Ruth murmured her hand tracing his chest lovingly. "We've done our waiting. You know that." Harry smiled as his worry lifted slightly. She didn't seem too much worse for wear.

After a long pause Ruth continued speaking. "By the way I think you'll have to call Dimitri."

"I'm not sure he'll have recovered from the way you spoke to him," Harry said, teasing her.

"I'm sorry but I wanted you," she replied, blushing a deep red.

"Never apologise for that," he said with a brief kiss. "I'll give Dimitri a call and then bring up breakfast okay?" Ruth nodded and closed her eyes as Harry left the room. She felt so happy, she couldn't believe it was just a few weeks ago that she felt like her world was ending. The next time she surfaced from sleep she smelt bacon. She sat up and opened her eyes as Harry placed a tray over her lap.

"That smells so good," she said. "I'm curious though," she said as Harry got back into bed next to her. "I know that my fridge was empty, so I'm wondering how you managed to conjure up a breakfast out of thin air."

"When you were in hospital I made sure that you'd have some food for when you came out," Harry said slowly. "It kept me optimistic so I wouldn't worry obsessively that you might slip away."

Ruth felt a small wave of sadness before she tried to lighten the mood. "There was me thinking that you were overconfident enough that you were convinced you'd be cooking breakfast for me in the morning."

"A man can live in hope," he replied, kissing her shoulder as she started buttering her toast. She started eating and felt wonderfully comfortable when Harry's legs started entwining with her own.

"What did Dimitri actually want?" Ruth asked taking a sip of sugared tea.

"Looking for a file on Towers security details, now that you're…"

"Yes," Ruth said, interrupting. "Was he horribly offended by my phone call this morning? I still can't believe I did that." Harry laughed at the look on her face and took a slice of toast from Ruth's plate.

"He actually said that he hoped we were happy," Harry said. "Are you?" he asked letting his nervousness show.

"I feel... tired, sore, hungry, satisfied, loved and very blissfully happy," she said with a light red tint on her cheeks. He looked into her sparkling blue eyes and wondered if he'd ever loved her more then in that moment. He couldn't resist kissing her deeply, he loved how her hands felt his skin and pulled him closer as their lips collided. They broke apart when Ruth was smiling too broadly to keep kissing him.

"You look happy," he said.

"I am. You should go and sort things out," Ruth said after a moment of silence. "I won't be doing much today except sleeping and I know you have things to tie up."

"Ruth…"

"Plus, tomorrow I'd rather like to show you the house," she said with a blush. "As long as you want to see it. I mean we could look somewhere else, if you want."

"I'd love to see the house," he replied smiling. "And you're right. I do have things to tie up. I've been ignoring things while you were…"

"I know you have," she said, her hand covering his. "And I love you for looking after me." Harry leant over her and kissed her slowly once more before he got out of bed. By the time he was dressed Ruth's eyes had drifted closed again. Harry put her half eaten breakfast on the floor and kissed the top of her head before he left her, the scent of her hair still filling his mind.

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><p><em>Big Thanks to everyone who's been kind enough to leave a review :) More soon...<em>


	5. Chapter 5

_Next installment. Thanks for the favourites and the reviews everyone..._

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><p>Harry turned up on the grid to a hive of activity. He groaned to himself and walked up to Erin who had her eyes locked on her computer screen. "What is it this time?" Harry asked.<p>

"I'm not telling you," Erin said switching the screen off and turning her chair around. "You resigned remember?"

"Yes, I remember," Harry said with a smile.

"How is she?" Erin asked seriously.

"Generally I think she's okay," Harry said. "I think she's probably in more pain than she's letting on, but she'll be okay."

"Good," Erin said sincerely. "So why are you here?"

"I needed some things from my desk and I need to call Towers as well," Harry said. "Are you sure I can't help?"

"No," Erin said with a smile. "But I am busy so you go and get what you need while I continue working."

"Alright Erin," Harry said strolling through to his office with a smile. He shut the door behind him and closed the blinds quickly. He wanted to be alone. There weren't many personal possessions in his office at all but he knew what he wanted. Just at that moment his office phone rang. He took a seat and picked it up. "Yes?"

"Oh, Harry," Towers voice said. "I wasn't expecting you to be here. But now you are I wanted to talk to you about your resignation."

"What about it?" Harry asked.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes," he replied. "I came into the grid today to clean my desk out, that's the only reason I'm here."

"But why?" Towers asked, seemingly confused. Harry sighed, bringing himself to the task of explaining.

"You know what happened to Ruth, yes?" Harry asked. Towers confirmed it. "Before she was stabbed she asked me to leave the service with her. And for a few seconds I couldn't remember when I'd last been that happy. And then I thought she was dying in my arms. It was my fault. Sasha wanted me but she got in the way. It was my fault, and if she had died, that would have been my fault too. But through some miracle, she didn't die. Those hours in the hospital, I realised that she was the most important thing in my life. I'd give up anything for her to be alive and well and I prayed. I don't pray, Home Secretary. So now that she's alive and recovering, I'm going to take my chance at happiness with her. I will not be changing my mind, no matter how much you try to convince me otherwise."

"I won't try to change your mind," Towers said after a second of silence. "I know I only worked with her for a brief few days but even I can see that she is a very special woman."

"She is," Harry agreed.

"Harry, take care of her," Towers said sincerely.

"I intend to," Harry said with a slow smile. "Goodbye William."

"Goodbye Harry." He put the phone down and looked around his office. For the first time it didn't feel as if his whole world was here. Because he knew his world was waiting for him at home. He opened his bottom desk drawer and went through his few personal possessions. The most important one was a tiny black velvet box. He picked it up and held it tightly in his hand without opening it. He didn't want to see the elegant diamond sparkling in the dark box. He didn't want to see the light sapphires that mimicked her eyes so perfectly on either side of the diamond. He didn't want to see those things. Because he couldn't bear the pain if she said no again. He wanted her to say yes so badly that it ached his heart. But he didn't know when to ask. When was the best time for her to give a different answer to the one she had two years ago? Harry carefully put the box in his inside jacket pocket, making sure it was safe. He took a last look around his office and quietly left the grid, for the last time.

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><p>Ruth wrapped herself in her dressing gown, all the time remembering how it had felt when Harry had taken it off of her the night before. Getting out of bed she went to her bookcase to ferret out her copy of Jane Eyre. She was quite happy getting lost in someone else's romance for a while, especially when she was this happy with her own love life. She had only read a chapter or two when her mobile phone rang. Ruth put a bookmark in and picked up her phone. "Hello?"<p>

"Hi, Ruth its Dimitri," his familiar voice came down the phone. Ruth felt herself blush as she remembered the last time she'd spoken to him. "I'm not calling to embarrass you," he added.

"Good," Ruth said sincerely. "So what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to check you were okay," Dimitri said. "I would have asked this morning but…"

"Yeah, thanks," she said quickly. "I'm fine. Not a lot of energy but I'll heal fine with a bit of time. Was that the only reason you called?"

"No," Dimitri said. "I found something yesterday, underneath Harry's resignation letter. I've spoken to Erin about this and she doesn't think I should tell you, but I want to tell you. I think you should know."

"Stop blabbering and either tell me or hang up," she said impatiently.

"I… there was a ring in the draw. An engagement ring."

Ruth sat up feeling her heart stop for a second. "It… it might not be for me Dimitri. Its probably his ex-wife's ring. It… it won't be for me."

"Ruth, its for you," he said firmly.

"You can't know that," she replied, denial filling her.

"Yes, I can Ruth. The stones… they're the exact colour of your eyes. Its for you."

"Why… why are you telling me this?" Ruth asked slowly, trying to get her breathing back to normal, knowing it had absolutely nothing to do with her recently collapsed lung.

"Because there's a reason its been sitting in his desk rather than on your finger. I think he's scared. He doesn't want you to say no again."

"How do you know about the first time?" Ruth said quickly, feeling her breathing getting shallow again.

"I'm a spy Ruth, of course I know," Dimitri said quietly. "I wanted to tell you so you're more prepared. I'm not telling you to say yes when he asks you. I'm asking you to please… please don't break his heart again."

"Alright," Ruth said, feeling very breathless. "I've got to go Dimitri," she said.

"Did I do the right thing telling you?" he asked, incredibly worried.

"Yes, I think you did Dimitri," she replied. "Just… let me think."

"That's what you're best at," Dimitri said with a smile.

"Bye." Ruth put the phone down on the bed her breathing incredibly erratic. "Calm down," she said to herself. Getting over emotional was no good for her health, she knew that. Harry had an engagement ring for her which had been in his desk for God knows how long. Was he planning to propose again? As long as he improved on a funeral she was pretty certain she'd say yes, but the fact that he might propose was making it hard to breathe or concentrate on anything else. After she'd turned him down, she never thought he'd ask her again. And she wouldn't blame him. Maybe he wasn't. Maybe it was just there from when he had planned to propose the first time.

But then she thought about life without Harry, it wasn't a prospect she relished. She thought about how close she'd come to dying and losing him and it made her heart freeze. Almost like that day she thought wryly. She closed her eyes and imagined Harry asking her. She imagined the look on his face and the tone of his voice when he asked her to marry him. She imagined how she'd feel if she said yes. She opened her eyes and found herself smiling at the images in her mind. She'd love it. She really would. It would give her the life she never thought she could achieve. It would give _them _the life that she felt had been ripped away from her. Eventually Ruth went back to reading Jane Eyre. With a massive smile on her face.

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><p><em> A review would be lovely, even if its only a word or two.<em>


	6. Chapter 6

_This story has taken on a llife of its own. Things I'd never expect to see in Spooks but they were fun to write about! Enjoy..._

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><p>Harry got home relatively late. The house was quiet which he considered a good thing. He paused in the kitchen to find a vase and put the flowers he'd bought her in water. He carefully carried the vase upstairs and was happy to see that the light was on. He opened Ruth's bedroom door and saw her nose stuck in a book. Jane Eyre, he noticed. "Hi," she said without looking up. Harry placed the vase on her bedside table and that was when she put the book down. "Oh Harry," she said quietly. "They're beautiful." The flowers were a selection of carnations in both red and white. She knew he must have spent a long time debating what flowers to get her and felt truly touched. "How did you know carnations are my favourite flower?" She knew that wouldn't be a coincidence.<p>

"A few years ago, I overheard you talking about flowers with Jo," he said sitting next to her on the mattress. "You said that roses were all well and good but it would mean more to you if you had a flower you loved. You said your favourite was carnations.

"And you remembered," she said unable to tear her eyes way from the bouquet.

"And I remembered. At the time you said you loved pink but I went for the meanings of the flowers rather than the colours." Ruth wracked her brain for a second until she remembered the meanings. But Harry continued when he saw the knowledge light up her eyes. "Red, means passion and ardent love. White means sweet love and devotion. I thought it was appropriate." Ruth couldn't tear her eyes away and felt the tears welling before she could stop them. "Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry," Harry said wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissing her neck lightly. "I'm sorry, I thought you'd like them."

"Harry I love them," she said drying her tears on his shirt. "You can buy me flowers whenever you feel like it. I just didn't think my heart could feel like this. So full of love. And I know that sounds really cheesy but its how I feel." Harry put his hand under her chin and tilted her face upwards to meet his lips. It was a soft gorgeous slow kiss. A kiss that made both of them never want to come up for air.

"To bring the conversation back to reality," Ruth said when she broke away from him. "I have to tell you something you won't like."

"Oh God, what is it," Harry asked holding her hand tightly.

"Don't look so concerned," Ruth said. "Its nothing really. My… wound, it started bleeding again. Just a little." She added as he looked really hurt. "But considering that you have that look on your face that means you want to tear my clothes off, I thought I'd tell you rather than let you find out by yourself."

"Let me see," Harry said in a voice that brooked no argument. She lifted her hands and Harry unwrapped her dressing gown carefully. It wasn't as bad as he'd anticipated. Only about a third of the cut had opened up and he could tell the bleeding had been light. "Maybe you should…"

"No," Ruth said firmly. "I am not going back to the hospital. Its fine."

Harry had worked with her long enough to know when not to argue. So instead his hands rose on her body, touching her breasts lightly. "I'm going to miss it when you start wearing a bra again," he teased.

"Hey!" Ruth pulled her gown shut while laughing. "I never managed to get dressed today, that's all."

"You say that like it's a problem," he replied, kissing her firmly. After that words didn't seem that important.

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><p>Ruth woke up early in the morning to rain hammering her window. She looked at Harry for a second, which turned into a minute. A long minute. She wanted to kiss his face but didn't want to wake him even more. So she gathered a bed sheet around her and walked to the window, pulling the curtain open slightly and watching the rain smash down. She loved rain. Terrorists never seemed to bomb in the rain and its constant drumbeat soothed her. It always had, ever since she was a child. The sky wasn't too dark, more of a pale grey than a thunder heavy sky. She was about to drop the curtain when she heard Harry's voice.<p>

"Don't." She smiled but stayed looking out of the window, feeling his eyes running over every inch of her body. Eventually she let go of the curtain and turned back to the bed, turning on the lamp as she did so, wanting to see Harry. "You look so beautiful," he murmured as she sat next to him, smiling at her.

"Are you still up for visiting the house today?" she asked, her eyes still magnetised on her flowers.

"Yes," he said firmly. "No job to go to, I can't think of anything I'd love more."

"You really resigned then?" she asked as he stroked her back softly.

"I told you I would."

"Did you talk to Towers about my job?" Ruth asked, facing him as his fingertips kept exploring her skin.

"No," Harry said. "I… I'm not sure what you wanted to do. I didn't want to presume anything."

"Harry…"

"I mean it. Whatever you want to do's fine," he said.

"I want to leave, and I want to have a life with you," she said with a smile. She turned over, her body resting on Harry's as she kissed his neck gently. "As long as you want this too." Harry pulled her face up so he could look at her.

"Shall we go and visit the house?" he asked with a smile. She kissed him passionately and it was at least another hour before they got dressed.

By the time they parked outside the house the rain was torrential. It was coming down in sheets and hammering the windscreen so hard that the noise was deafening.

"I hope this isn't a sign," Harry said anxiously. Ruth smiled at him and covered his hand with hers briefly. They opened the car doors and ran towards the front door, trying to stay as dry as possible. The green peeling front door that Ruth loved. She unlocked the door and sighed as they got into the dry. "How did you get a key? I thought you'd only made an offer."

"I have," she replied. "I managed to get a copy made." He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Come on Harry, how long did I work for you? You can't still be surprised at my ingenuity."

"I'm beginning to think nothing would surprise me about you," Harry said quietly. Ruth was looking at him so intensely that she dropped her coat. She bent to pick it up and then groaned as her stab wound throbbed. Harry supported her back as she straightened up. "When we get back you are going to get checked out at the hospital," Harry said firmly.

"No, I'm fine," Ruth said quickly.

"I don't care. I'm not arguing with you," he said keeping a hand under her chin and making her look at him. "I need you here. I need you alive. So you're going to get checked out."

"Okay," she said, knowing when she was beaten. "But its fine."

"Brilliant you may be, but you don't have a medical degree. So you're going to the hospital okay?" Harry smiled, stroked her hair and gave her a quick peck on the lips, keeping his hand on the base of her spine. They walked around the house and Harry could instantly see why Ruth had fallen in love with it. It was so… _her_ somehow. And she was right, he could imagine them living there. It was perfect. They returned back to the kitchen and the rain was hammering against the glass again. He could tell that Ruth was nervous.

"What do you think?" she asked, biting her lip.

"I think its perfect for us," he said with a smile to reassure her. "Well done on finding it."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes," he said firmly. He pulled her into his arms and gave her a gentle, loving kiss. "I want to ask you something," he added.

Oh God, Ruth thought to herself. Was he going to ask her to marry him now? She wasn't expecting it. Not today.

"Would you mind if it was both of our names on the property deed? I'd really like this to be our house. Not just your house."

"Oh!" Ruth said, more than a little surprised. "Yeah, that… that'd be special." She smiled as he kissed her hair but she couldn't stop the waves of disappointment that washed over her.

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><p><em>I'd love a review if you have a spare second. More soon-ish...<em>


	7. Chapter 7

_This is actually nothing like how I planned to write it. Took on a life of its own._

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><p>Later that night Harry was worried about her. She just didn't seem to be herself somehow. Ever since the viewing at the house she'd been quiet. Too quiet. They'd gone to the hospital at Harry's insistence but Ruth had been right. There was nothing wrong with her stab wound, other than it being fresh. But the doctor had told Harry that he was right to bring her back in, causing her to roll her eyes and him to look smug. But their brief friendly argument had burnt out and she'd returned to her quiet self.<p>

They were both lying in bed but he knew she was awake and restless. Sighing, he switched the light on and faced her. Her eyes were focused on his face with more concentration that usual. "Are you in pain?" he asked quietly.

"No."

"Are you unhappy?"

"No."

"Ruth. Please tell me what's wrong."

She sighed and put her hand on his arm reassuringly. "I promise you, I am not unhappy. I… you'll think I'm stupid."

"I could never think that of you," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "Just talk to me."

"When we were going around our house you said… you said you wanted to ask me something when you mentioned the house. I thought you might be… I thought you might propose to me. I know there was an engagement ring in your desk. Its stupid. Overactive imagination."

"Who told you about the engagement ring?" Harry asked in a low voice.

"What, so you can ship them to Siberia? I'm not telling you who told me. You should just forget it. I just thought… Forget it," she added sincerely, her hand squeezing his arm reassuringly. "Go to sleep." She pulled the duvet close enough to her body so she was wrapped up in a warm cocoon, not resting her eyes on him. He kept watching her in silence, knowing that sleep was far from both of them.

"Ruth, look at me," Harry said firmly.

"Forget it," she repeated but she lifted her eyes anyway.

"I have wanted to marry you so often over the last few years that I couldn't even count how many times I've thought about it," Harry said sincerely. "Since Sasha stabbed you and it was a relatively safe bet that you weren't going to die, I've dreamed about it every second of every day. I was looking for a better setting than the last time. Because that didn't go as well as I'd hoped. I was waiting for the right moment. But, believe me, I had every intention of asking you." He kissed her gently yet firmly and continued until he was sure that she believed what he was saying.

"Then what are you waiting for?" she asked softly. She saw his eyes sparkle as he realised what she was suggesting. He reached for his jacket and picked a small box from the inside pocket. He then turned back to her, keeping the jewellery box tightly in his hand and she couldn't hide the smile on her face.

"Ruth, you are the most beautiful, intelligent and stubborn woman I have ever met. I am so, so in love with you. Will you marry me?"

"Much better than last time," Ruth said with a smile. A smile which was hiding the tears she was trying not to let fall.

"That's not an answer," he said and she could see the fear of rejection, even when he was trying to hide it.

"Yes," she said simply. "Yes, I will." She suddenly felt breathless as Harry kissed her so very intensely that, had she been standing it would have made her knees buckle. He pulled away from her and snapped open the box. Ruth looked at the engagement ring and knew why Dimitri had been convinced it was for her. The light blue sapphires either side of the sparkling diamond were perfect for her. He held her left hand and carefully slid the ring onto her finger. She tightened her grip on Harry's hand and they both watched as the ring sparkled in the minimal light in the bedroom. "I love you," she whispered. Her newly adorned hand rested on his chest as she drew him in for another kiss. It was a long time before they came up for air.

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><p><em>There is more to come but I'm a nanowrimo participant so November is manic for me. I will update when I have the chance. All reviews make me so happy!<em>


	8. Chapter 8

_Was on a writing tear today so am posting much sooner. Thanks for all the reviews so far everyone!_

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><p>Two weeks later they had more or less finished moving into their new house. There were a few boxes left to unpack in the kitchen but everything else was done. Ruth opened a box and started putting pots and pans and utensils and other kitchen-y things away when she realised that Harry was stood at the doorway and he was watching her intensely. Ruth looked down at what she was wearing self consciously. This was the reason she didn't wear jeans too often, she thought bitterly to herself. That morning she had thrown one of Harry's old shirts on and hadn't got around to changing into her own clothes. She blushed, realising she must look a complete mess.<p>

The truth was Harry couldn't keep her eyes off of her beautiful frame. She looked gorgeous wearing one of his shirts with the sleeves rolled up. Absolutely gorgeous. And he loved seeing her wear her favourite pair of jeans. They clung to her shapely legs wonderfully. Had she ever worn them to work, he'd never have been able to concentrate or keep his hands off of her. "What is it?" she asked nervously bringing him out of his reverie.

"You look amazing," he said honestly, walking closer to her.

"No I don't," she replied shaking her head. "I look like… what I've been doing actually. I look like I've spent days moving into a new house being so tired that I haven't even had the chance to pick up a hairbrush. That's what I look like." While she'd been speaking he'd got even closer and wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning in to smell her hair.

"You should stay looking like this forever," he murmured in a low voice. He kissed her jaw, making her smile. "Also, you smell incredible."

Ruth frowned slightly. "I smell like you," she said pulling at the shirt she wore.

"No, you smell like us," he corrected. She smiled just before he drew her in for a kiss. A deep passionate breathtaking kiss. A kiss which would have gone on for longer had the doorbell not rang. Harry groaned and kept his arms around her waist. "Who the hell is that, no one knows we're here."

"It'll be Alex," Ruth said certainly. She pulled away to answer the door but Harry kept his grip on her.

"And who's this Alex?" he asked hoping that a mild jealousy wasn't going to show through. Ruth wasn't fooled.

"_She _is an old friend of mine from college," Ruth said, guessing what he was thinking. The doorbell rang again. "Are you going to let me answer it?" Harry smiled, kissed the top of her head and let go of her waist in a matter of seconds. Ruth walked quickly to front door and pulled it open. She was right, it was her old friend.

"Hi Alex," she said pulling her in for a hug.

"Long time no see," the short blonde said with a massive smile on her face. Ruth looked at her friend and felt a wave of happiness swamp her. Alex was two inches shorter than her and was very petite in every way. She was also the best friend Ruth had ever had. With her work in MI5 they'd fallen out of touch but a few months ago, when Ruth had started look for houses she'd found her old friend living close and that had been the tipping factor on her original offer. Of course, now that she was with Harry, it wouldn't have mattered, but it was nice that her old friend lived so close.

"How are you?" Alex asked as Ruth led them into the kitchen, where Harry had continued to unpack.

"Good," Ruth replied. "Alex, this is Harry, Harry, Alex," she said by way of introduction. They both smiled at each other briefly. Harry could sense when he wasn't needed and in the way, so he kissed the top of Ruth's head before leaving the two women to it as the kettle boiled.

"So, Congratulations," Alex said. Ruth looked blankly at her. "Your finger," Alex continued. "You're engaged."

"Yeah, its still relatively new," Ruth said with a smile and . "But I'm happy."

"And for you to admit that, it has to be true love," Alex replied with a raised eyebrow.

"What about you? How are you and your boys?"

"All five of them are fine," Alex said.

"Five?" Ruth questioned.

"Four sons and the husband."

"Ah, that five," Ruth said taking a sip of her tea.

"So how did you meet him?" Alex asked nodding in the direction that Harry had vanished.

"He was my boss for the best part of nine years."

"Oh Ruth," Alex said shaking her head. "Sleeping with the boss is so beneath you. I'd never have thought you'd have done that."

"For your information I didn't sleep with him until we were no longer working together," Ruth said fighting the blush.

"That's… boring and unadventurous," Alex said. Ruth laughed into her tea. "So what gave you two the push to be together?"

Ruth didn't know what to say. I was stabbed in the chest by the man whom Harry thought was his son for nearly thirty years, had a collapsed lung and through some medical miracle didn't die? She didn't really think that would go over too well so she edited the truth until it was presentable. "I had an incident and ended up in hospital. I'm fine and it was nothing serious but he stayed by my bedside the entire time I was there. He never left."

"Oh, how romantic," Alex said with a soft look in her eye. Ruth felt a glow of happiness and she had to admit that it felt so good to have a friend again. Especially when an unhealthy fear of death wasn't on the agenda everyday.


	9. Chapter 9

It was a good lazy day for them both, and the house was starting to become their home. Harry had fallen asleep with an arm round her waist. He was jerked awake when Ruth sat up suddenly in the middle of the night, eyes open in shock and body shaking.

"What is it?" Harry asked groggily.

"I…" she started in a weak whisper. Her hand flew to her mouth. "I think I'm going to be sick." She raced from the bed and threw the bathroom door shut with a loud snap. He managed to wake himself up properly by the time she rinsed her mouth out and had come back to bed. She was still shaking as he held her close.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nightmare," she said weakly, her face burrowing into his neck. "It was awful. It…"

"Take your time and tell me," he said calmly. She did, her breathing erratic.

"I was alone in a room. It was… Mani. He wanted something but… I couldn't tell him. I didn't know what the answer was. So he kept… torturing you. And it went on and on. Stab wounds… and broken bones. Your blood was everywhere. You were in so much pain. Eventually, he… he had a gun… and he… and he pulled the trigger just as I woke up." She couldn't go on and kept sobbing into his neck while he stroked her thigh gently.

"Its okay," he murmured into her ear, touching her lightly and reassuringly over and over again. This lasted long, long minutes until her crying had mostly subsided.

She raised her head and looked in his eyes, her blue ones still glistening from her tears. "Promise me you'll never leave me."

"Ruth," he said in a calm slow voice, one hand stroking her hair lovingly. "I don't want you to worry. We left that life behind. I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life and all of my days with you. Loving you and only you. I promise I'll never leave you." She smiled slightly and then moved to kiss him. It was a fast, desperate, frantic kiss and he started to pull away.

"Ruth…" She pulled him back, continuing to kiss him and entwine her body with his and he could see where this was leading all too quickly. "Ruth, no," he said firmly, holding her shoulders at a safe distance from his chest. "I am not going to have sex with you tonight. Not now when you are feeling so upset and vulnerable and emotional. I am not going to take advantage of you."

"I want you, Harry," she murmured, her hands wandering all over him and he felt his self control slipping. But he held firm.

"Not like this. I never want to sleep with you, just so you can block out or numb the pain that you're feeling. That's not right for either of us and you know it." He looked at her and saw her face crumple.

"I know," she agreed reluctantly. She buried her face in his chest and gently kissed his skin as he stroked her back lightly.

"I'm not going anywhere," Harry whispered as he felt her lose her grip on consciousness. She eventually fell asleep in his arms but Harry kept talking to her. "I promise you, neither of us are going anywhere. I'll keep you safe. I'll do anything to keep you safe. I love you so very much. And I will keep telling you that until one day, it won't surprise you that we're still here and together and happy. I love you and I can't wait to marry you. It'll all be okay, I promise." He kissed the top of her head and slept. His arms still wrapped around the most precious thing in his life.

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><p>The next morning relative calm had been restored between the two of them. Harry stroked her skin lightly as she smiled in the morning light. "What do you want for our wedding?" Harry asked slowly.<p>

"Registry office," she replied simply. "Soon as possible."

"That's what you want?" Harry asked surprised.

"I never had any dreams of big fancy weddings. You know, wearing a white dress and going down the aisle in a church with a really overpriced bouquet of flowers has never appealed to me. I want to have a marriage, not just a wedding day." Harry had become worryingly silent as she stopped speaking ad she wondered what he was thinking. "But… if you want a ceremony in a church with me in a white dress…"

"No," Harry said cutting her off stroking her face softly. "I want what you want. I would like a few of our friends there though."

"Of course," Ruth said nodding. "It'd be good to see some people again. Like Malcolm."

"I bet he'll be pleased," Harry said with a smile. "Shall I call the registry office and make an appointment?" She could tell that he was expecting her to make excuses. To change her mind. He still wasn't secure enough with their relationship to really believe this was happening. Ruth moved and caught his hand with hers, squeezing tightly.

"Yes," she agreed. "Do that." She stroked Harry's chest then had a thought which stilled her hand.

"What is it?"

"What about your children?" she asked suddenly. "Will they be upset about us? What about…"

"Calm down," Harry said reassuringly. "Graham isn't speaking to me and to be bluntly honest I can't see that changing. So it really won't affect him at all. Catherine… I don't think she'll mind. I'll call her."

"You can't tell her over the phone!" Ruth said shocked.

"She's filming in London," Harry said. "I keep in touch with her. I'll meet up with her and tell her."

"Do you want me to come?" Ruth asked slowly.

"I love you for offering but I think I should do this on my own. Plus, you can tell Erin and co. I'm sure they'd like to hear from you. And whoever told you about the engagement ring." There was a growl in his voice.

"I'm not telling you," Ruth reiterated.

"Was it Erin?"

"Harry…"

"It couldn't have been Callum, so its Erin or Dimitri."

"Harry…"

"Wives don't lie to their husbands. Tell me."

"No." He looked into her eyes and knew she wasn't going to be moved.

"Fine. We'll go to London, you go to Thames House and I'll meet with Catherine."

"Sounds like a plan," Ruth said, kissing him slowly and lovingly.

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><p><em>I'd love a review if you have a spare second, they encourage me to post quicker!<em>


	10. Chapter 10

Ruth walked back onto the grid and felt like she was thrown back in time. Had it really only been a matter of weeks since she had been working here? Erin caught sight of her almost at once. There were several people wandering around who she didn't recognise but her friends were here.

"Is everything okay?" Erin asked immediately.

"Its fine," Ruth assured her. "Have you got a minute or are you absurdly busy?"

"Nah, its dead," Callum said, turning around on his chair to face her. "Seems like the terrorists retired with you and Harry."

"One can only hope," Dimitri said as he walked past. "Hi Ruth," he said. His face was guarded and she could tell he was worried about the engagement ring incident.

"I have news," Ruth said. "Harry and I are getting married."

"Oh thank God for that," Dimitri said with a sigh. "I thought my career was over."

"Oh Ruth, that's wonderful!" Erin squealed with delight, giving Ruth a hug. "And I told you not to tell her," she added to Dimitri who looked slightly cowed. "Lets see the ring." Ruth held out her hand as Erin examined it. "Beautiful."

"Congratulations," Callum said and he almost seemed sincere.

"No sarcasm?" Ruth asked. "Funny, I'm almost disappointed." There was a moment of silence before she carried on. "Anyway, the wedding will be relatively soon so I thought I'd let you know."

Dimitri hugged Ruth and whispered in her ear. "Does Harry want to kill me?"

"I think you're safe," Ruth replied with a smile. It felt like all she'd done over the past few weeks was smile. It was a way of life she could get used to.

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><p>Catherine had invited Harry over to her rented flat. She was going to be leaving the country in eight weeks so it wasn't anything special, but the fact that she had invited him to her house made his heart soar. He rang the doorbell anxiously and waited. It wasn't long before Catherine opened the door, a small smile on her face.<p>

"Hi dad," she said giving him an awkward hug on her doorstep. Harry smiled as she led him through to her kitchen.

"How are you?" Harry asked.

"Busy," was her answer. "I've got three filming projects running, one of which has a deadline in less than a week. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to the third one but I couldn't resist." Harry listened attentively as she continued talking about her work which she so clearly loved. "So, why did you want to meet me so urgently?"

"I have something to tell you," Harry said quietly. "I've met someone and I'm getting married. I really hope this is okay with you."

Catherine's eyebrows flicked up in surprise. She seemed to be struggling to find words. Harry waited for her to get her thoughts in order. "Are you happy?" she asked.

"I'm very happy," he replied. "But I want you to be alright with this."

"Well, I have to admit I wasn't expecting you to tell me that," she said, shaking her head slightly. "But this is good isn't it?"

"I think so," Harry replied. "We would both love you to come to our wedding."

"Hold on! You haven't even told me her name yet," Catherine said with a smile.

"Ruth," Harry replied. "She is wonderful, beautiful and intelligent. I love her."

"More than you loved mum?" Catherine asked quietly.

"I don't regret marrying Jane," Harry said. "Because I got two wonderful children out of that marriage. But you know as well as I do that we weren't really meant to be together. It wasn't a great marriage."

"I know," Catherine agreed. "By the time I was toddling you did seem to hate each other."

"I never hated her," Harry said. "We just weren't meant to be."

"Yes," Catherine agreed.

"Will you come to our wedding?" Harry asked when the silence spread out.

"As long as I'm in the country, I'll be there," Catherine said. "I'm leaving in eight weeks and I won't be back for four months."

"Ruth will be thrilled," Harry said sincerely. "In the full interests of honesty, she is a little younger than me though."

"She's not younger than me is she?" Catherine asked, making Harry laugh out loud.

"No."

"Dad, you smiled."

"I've been doing that a lot lately." Harry reached into his jacket pocket for a pen and he wrote down their address. "Visit whenever you like. If you like of course. I know she wants to meet you."

"Then why isn't she here with you?" Catherine asked and Harry could see that she was hurt.

"She offered," Harry said honestly. "I thought it might be a bit overwhelming for you."

"I'm not a child anymore."

"No," Harry agreed. "But you'll always be my little girl. No matter how grown up you might be." Catherine smiled weakly and gave her father a hug.

"I'll visit," she said. "I promise."

Harry was sat in the car outside Thames House, waiting for Ruth to appear. He knew she wouldn't be long. Just as this thought occurred to him he saw her familiar figure approaching the car. She opened the door, sat down in the passenger seat and kissed him hello in a matter of seconds.

"How did it go?" Harry asked as he switched the engine on to go home.

"Oh fine," Ruth said impatiently. "They were all happy for us and so on. How was Catherine?"

"You're really worried about her reaction aren't you?" Harry teased.

"Yes," Ruth said bluntly. "I don't want a step daughter that hates me."

"She won't hate you," Harry said. "She said as long as she's in the country she'd come to our wedding."

"Oh, that's fantastic," Ruth said sincerely. Her hand stroked his thigh and for a moment Harry forgot that he was driving the car.

"I've given her our address and she said she'd visit," Harry added once her hand had been removed.

"That's really good."

"One more thing," Harry said, glancing at her. "I've called the registry office and booked our wedding in."

"When?"

"Just under three weeks," Harry said.

"That's soon," Ruth said with wide eyes. She felt Harry's confidence waver. "I just meant, we'll have to get a jump on invitations. That's all. I'm thrilled it's so soon. Honestly." Harry felt slightly wrong footed but was reassured by her kissing his cheek. Even though it wasn't brilliant for his concentration while driving a car.

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><p><em>Not really in love with this chapter but it felt necessary for the story I think. Not sure. Any opinions?<em>


	11. Chapter 11

Every one was coming to their wedding this Saturday. Ruth smiled as she woke up. She was getting married this weekend. Her hands started to drift over Harry's sleeping body next to her. She knew when he woke up because he groaned in appreciation of her explorations.

"What time is it?" he asked quietly, pulling her body on top of his.

"Almost eleven," Ruth replied in between kisses. "But if you're worried about the time I'm clearly not doing my job properly." She laughed as she felt Harry's hands grip her hips firmly.

"Be quiet," he said in a gruff voice. She laughed before leaning over to kiss him again. Then the doorbell rang. Ruth groaned but Harry pulled her even closer. "Ignore it. They'll go away." But thirty seconds later it became clear that their visitor wasn't going to simply disappear. Ruth sighed and pulled herself away from Harry, throwing her dressing gown on and raced to the door. She opened it and felt a moment of shock.

"Catherine?" Ruth said dumbly.

"Hi," the blonde said with a smile. A smile which faltered when she looked at Ruth's dishevelled appearance and messed up hair. "Oh my God, you… you were in bed weren't you? I'll… go. Leave you to it. Forget I even turned up."

"No, no, no," Ruth said instantly smiling at the younger woman. "Come in and make yourself at home." Ruth opened the door wider and Catherine entered warily, taking a look around. "I'll go and get dressed. I'll be back as soon as possible," Ruth said quickly. "Please don't leave. Your father will want to see you."

"Okay," Catherine said slowly. Ruth smiled and raced upstairs. Once in the bedroom Ruth threw a pillow at Harry's sleeping figure.

"Harry get up now," Ruth said in a tone that wasn't taking no for an answer.

"I thought the point of leaving work was that there was no need to get up early," Harry said rolling over as Ruth quickly shrugged into her jeans.

"Your daughter is downstairs. Move." Harry rubbed his eyes while his brain caught up.

"Catherine's here?" he asked sitting up.

"Yes, and I wasn't exactly presentable when I answered the door," Ruth added buttoning up her blouse.

"Oh God," Harry said as he realised what she was saying. Ruth hurriedly tied her hair up as Harry started to move.

"I'll be downstairs," Ruth said taking a last look in the mirror. "Can you just get dressed?"

"Yes," Harry said with a sigh. Ruth left the bedroom and went back to the kitchen where she saw that Catherine had made herself a cup of tea.

"Hope you don't mind," she said.

"No," Ruth said simply. "I'm sorry about how I opened the door," she added a blush on her cheeks. "I hadn't expected you. And that was not the way I intended to meet you for the first time.

"That's okay," Catherine said with a smile.

"Your father will be down in a minute."

"When I met up with him the other day," Catherine started slowly. "He was happier than I ever remember him being. How long have you been with him?"

"This is going to sound crazy," Ruth said. "Only a few weeks. But I've known him for nine years. And I've been in love with him for most of that time. I met him at work."

"Okay," Catherine said. The silence wasn't uncomfortable and both women felt at ease with the other. "You really marrying him on Saturday? He's not… he isn't an easy man to live with."

"I know it might not all be easy and sunshine and happiness," Ruth said. "I know that. But I want to marry him. So yes, I am. I'm hoping you're going to come this weekend."

"I said I would and I will," Catherine said with a smile. "Have you picked a dress?"

"No," Ruth said firmly. "I hate shopping at the best of times but something as important as what I'm going to get married in? I don't know. Plus I don't want to wear white, but I'm not sure what that leaves me with."

"Do you… forget it," Catherine said.

"No go on," Ruth said.

"I love shopping," Catherine said almost shyly. "If you wanted a second set of eyes…"

"Do you mean that?" Ruth asked unable to believe it. "You've only just met me."

"Yes," Catherine said. "I know my father, even with the shaky relationship we've had over the years. I can see he's happy with you. His eyes sparkle when you come up in conversation. Anyway, I have a free day today. So if you wanted help…"

"Thank you," Ruth said sincerely. At that moment Harry walked into the kitchen and was surprised and pleased to see his two most important women getting along so well.

"Hi Catherine," Harry said with a smile. "Its good to see you."

"Well, I'm going to be leaving soon," Catherine replied. "Ruth needs a dress for Saturday. I'm going to help her."

"You don't have to do that," Harry said. "I'm sure you have more important things to do."

"Thanks a lot," Ruth said sarcastically as Harry put some bread in the toaster. Harry looked at her and his eyes softened. He would have kissed her but didn't want to embarrass his daughter.

"You know what I meant," Harry said to Ruth. Then to Catherine, "are you sure you want to help her?"

"Yes," Catherine said, finishing her tea. "I'll wait in the car if you're ready?"

"Sure," Ruth said. Catherine smiled and left the kitchen but stayed hidden from sight at the door frame to watch Ruth and Harry together. She was curious about the woman who had melted her fathers famously hard heart.

"You haven't eaten this morning," Harry said in a concerned voice as Ruth put her jacket on. Ruth popped up the toaster and took a bite of warm bread.

"Happy?" Ruth asked.

"Forgive me for being concerned about you but you were stabbed not too long ago. You nearly died in my arms. Your… heart stopped and for a second you died. You should keep your strength up. I'd rather see you alive than concerned about wedding dresses." She took another bite and swallowed, loving how worried he was about her.

"I'm fine." Harry rolled his eyes and drew her in for a soft gentle kiss, hands resting on her hips. He leant his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I love you," she whispered.

"I know," he said. "Go shopping." She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "I know you hate shopping but this is quite an important purchase. And Catherine offered to help. She likes you. Must be a Pearce family trait."

Ruth didn't say anything. Instead she gave him a final quick kiss on the lips and then turned to pick up her handbag and her keys. Catherine thought this was an opportune moment to leave and closed the door quietly behind her, Ruth only a matter of seconds behind her.

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><p>"I'm sorry I'm so fussy," Ruth said after the eighth dress in the third shop.<p>

"Is my father aware of how stubborn you are?" Catherine asked as Ruth shook her head at the light blue dress she was currently wearing.

"Yes actually," Ruth said. "He once called me a stubborn old mule."

Catherine let out a snort of laughter. "That sounds like him." Catherine handed her the next dress choice and Ruth retreated to the changing room. Catherine waited patiently and caught her breath when Ruth immerged. "That's perfect," Catherine said. Ruth looked in the floor length mirror and knew that she was right. It was a simple dress in blue silk neither pale nor dark. A medium blue and almoost floorlength. It had small sleeves and it fitted her perfectly.

"Really?" Ruth asked nervously.

"That's the one," Catherine repeated. "Dad'll go crazy when he sees you in that. Especially if this morning is anything to go by."

Ruth blushed vividly and started shaking her head. "I'm really sorry about that."

"Forget it," Catherine said sincerely. "That's the dress." Ruth looked in the mirror. Catherine was right.

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><p>On the way back home Catherine turned to Ruth, wondering how to mention what she'd overheard. "I'm not meaning to be an eavesdropper," Catherine started. "But I heard you talking to dad this morning. He said you were stabbed."<p>

"Yes," Ruth replied simply.

"He said that your heart stopped."

"Yes."

"Can you tell me what happened?" Catherine asked gently.

"No prizes for guessing where you got your interrogation measures from," Ruth said, focusing on the windscreen of the car.

"I didn't mean to sound like him," Catherine said honestly. "I just wanted to know."

"I can't… relive that day. Its too horrific and painful," Ruth said quietly. "I can't talk about it with anyone. I can only talk to Harry, and even that is really hard for me. I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have asked," Catherine said feeling embarrassed.

"All I can say is that someone wanted to kill Harry, but I got in the way to protect him. I can't say more."

"I'm sorry," Catherine said. "I now feel like an insensitive idiot."

"Its okay," Ruth said. "Thank you for helping me today."

"You're welcome," Catherine said as she pulled up outside of the house. It took a few seconds before either woman opened their car door.

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><p><em>I'd love a review if you have a spare moment, they let me know if I'm on the right or wrong track. xxx<em>


	12. Chapter 12

_As you are all such wonderful people leaving fabulous reviews I'm adding this short chapter now... Enjoy..._

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><p>Two days before their wedding Ruth woke up in the middle of the night with a jolt. She had no idea why she had woken so suddenly. Glancing at the clock she saw it was two thirty in the morning. About to look at Harry she paused. "Oh God," she whispered to herself. She had had a dawning realisation. She had been so happy over the last few weeks that she hadn't paid any attention to it. Her period was late.<p>

"Oh my God," she whispered again. She placed a hand over her stomach and in that moment, inexplicably she knew it was true. She was pregnant. Her fingertips felt her stomach carefully. She couldn't have explained how she knew it was true, but she did. In the morning she'd take a test but she was fairly certain what it would tell her. In the quiet of the night she thought about it. She had never expected to have children, she had given up on that dream a long time ago. Now at forty one and pregnant… she couldn't believe it. But, it was definitely a good surprise. At least for her. She did have one worry though. What would Harry think? And how was she going to tell him? At that moment she felt Harry's hand tighten its grip on her waist in sleep. She smiled. She still had no idea how she was going to tell him but she knew that he loved her. And that was the important thing.

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><p><em>Okay so short but important. Reviews are lovely! xxx<em>


	13. Chapter 13

_In this chapter, the wedding and Harry finds out..._

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><p>The wedding was small and followed the standard registry office format but it was beautiful. It was beautiful because these two people had waited a lifetime to find each other and be with each other. The guest list was small. Erin, Dimitri, Callum, Catherine and Malcolm were all there. Alex and Mark, her husband completed the small wedding party. Through the entire shot ceremony Harry kept his eyes on Ruth the whole time, his hand holding hers tightly. She looked incredible, her hair swept up and the dress hugging her curves beautifully. He tried desperately to stop his eyes from running over her figure appreciatively but he didn't quite manage it.<p>

They had picked simple gold bands for wedding rings and when Harry slid hers on her finger, next to her engagement ring she couldn't stop the tears from falling, even while she was smiling.

Soon enough they were pronounced husband and wife. Harry leant forward and kissed her so gently it was like a whisper. Neither of them heard the clapping from their friends. They didn't see the happiness in everyone's faces. They didn't hear Callum wolf whistling or see Malcolm's lopsided smile, they only saw each other. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

"I love you too," she replied and they shared another slow kiss, ignoring everyone else in the room.

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><p>Back at the house, everyone was chatting happily and music was playing lightly in the background. The sun was out and it was a beautiful day, matching the lightness of their hearts. Harry got a bottle of champagne out of the fridge and popped the cork with a smile. The small crowd of people were chatting amongst themselves while Harry poured several glasses of champagne and drew Ruth aside so he could speak to her privately. He wanted a long kiss with his wife. He put an arm around Ruth's waist and passed her a glass, pausing to kiss her neck. Ruth looked at the glass of champagne and sighed.<p>

"I can't," she said putting the glass down on the kitchen counter. Harry looked so crestfallen that she felt terrible even though it wasn't really her fault.

"You're not going to drink to us? To celebrate? On our wedding day?" Harry asked, feeling so sad at her behaviour. She put her hand on his arm reassuringly.

"Trust me, I'd love a drink especially with the conversation it looks like we're about to have. I just… I can't."

"Why?" Harry asked. She wasn't looking at him so he raised her chin, making their eyes meet. She didn't speak. She entwined her fingers with his and gently placed them on her still flat stomach, her eyes never leaving his. She saw the moment when the light of understanding reached his eyes. "You're…?" he whispered hoarsely.

"Yes," she replied, anxiously biting her lip, awaiting his reaction. She had been so, so nervous about telling him and he still hadn't said anything. He moved their joined hands from her stomach and kissed the back of her hand slowly.

"So no champagne for you then," he said lightly.

"That's your only reaction?" she said stunned. "That's it?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, eyes still smiling at her. "Before today I mean. Did you just want to make our wedding day even more special?"

"I was worried about your reaction," she said slowly. "I still am."

"I don't think I've ever been happier," he said honestly.

"Really?"

"Absolutely. Although I wish you hadn't told me with everyone watching us from the other side of the room. Because I can't show you just how happy I am."

"How about later?" Ruth replied with a small smile.

"Count on it," he said sincerely. He kept a hand on her back as they joined in with the rest of the party.

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><p>In the bedroom later Ruth smiled to herself as Harry slowly unzipped her dress. His hands rose up her back and he slipped the sleeves off of her arms. She felt him kiss her neck lightly as his hands started to push the fabric away. She stopped him before this got too far out of hand.<p>

"Are you really happy? About the baby?" she asked sitting on the edge of the bed. "Or were you just saying that because its our wedding day?"

"Ruth, I love you," he said. "And I love the fact that you're going to have our child. It's… incredible. Stop worrying."

"That's more reassuring than the "no champagne for you" comment," Ruth said with a smile.

"Mm," he said pushing her onto the bed and kissing her skin slowly and lovingly.

"Harry, I don't want anyone to know. Not yet. Don't tell anyone until I'm at least three months pregnant."

He looked up at her, concern all over his face. "Is something wrong?"

"No," she said quickly. "I'm not exactly young for my first pregnancy. I'd just like to be on the safe side before we tell anyone the happy news. Is that okay?"

"Yes," he agreed, "How far along are you?"

"Six weeks," she said. She saw Harry counting backwards in his head.

"So this happened the first time we…"

"Yes."

"Well that just proves it was meant to be," he murmured, then he began kissing her stomach. He looked at her underwear and realised it was brand new.

"Alex took me shopping," Ruth said a light blush staining her cheeks. "She said I needed something special for my wedding night."

"I've always liked her," Harry whispered against her skin. She laughed lightly as he concentrated on loving her so slowly, making it last an eternity. It had been a perfect day. For all three of them.

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><p><em>What does everyone think?<em>


	14. Chapter 14

_You guys have been such great reviewers that the next little installment is coming up today, rather than tomorrow as I'd planned. , hope this satisfies some of your impatience!_

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><p>About a week later Harry woke up in the middle of the night to a cold bed. It was ten to three in the morning. He looked around but Ruth was nowhere to be seen. He got up and checked the bathroom but she wasn't there. Starting to worry slightly he went downstairs and his breath caught when he saw her. She was wearing his shirt and nothing else. Her back was to him but he could see the glow of her skin in the kitchen light as she moved slightly.<p>

"Why are you up?" he asked quietly, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I'm hungry," she replied as her toast popped up. She quickly buttered it and then put lashings of marmite on top. Harry watched her with a disdainful look on his face.

"That's disgusting," he said lightly.

"You're not pregnant, your hormones aren't doing crazy things to your taste buds, therefore you don't get an opinion on what I eat." She took a large bite of toast and Harry smiled at her as his hands ran down her thighs softly. She shivered under his touch. Ruth turned around to kiss him firmly but he moved his head slightly.

"I can't kiss you when you've been eating that horrible stuff," he said sadly. Ruth pouted slightly and ate a larger bite of toast, making Harry laugh. "Are you okay though?" he asked. "Not in pain or anything? Not even something as minor as a bad feeling?"

"I'm fine," she said honestly. "Just hungry.

"Come back up to bed when you've finished that disgusting meal," Harry said. "The beds cold without you." Ruth smiled and continued to munch her toast. She was happy. So very happy.

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><p>"I hate hospitals," Ruth said in a growl to Harry. "Nothing good has ever happened to me because of a hospital appointment." Harry squeezed her hand tightly. They were sitting in the waiting room and had been for nearly an hour. The hospital was running late which wasn't doing Ruth's nerves any favours at all.<p>

"Ruth Pearce?" a nurse asked.

"About bloody time," she whispered under her breath as they both walked through to the examination room. Harry kept a hand on her back, knowing that she was nervous. It didn't take long before Ruth was lying on the table with cold gel on her now clearly rounded stomach. For a moment nothing came up on the screen.

"Is there a problem?" Ruth asked instantly.

"I just need a minute to get the machine to focus," the doctor told them with a smile. "Give me some time." Harry rolled his eyes at Ruth and kissed the back of her hand while they waited for the picture to become clear. A blurry image came on the screen as a thumping rhythm sounded loud in the quiet room.

"That's the baby's heartbeat," the doctor said with a smile. Ruth looked at the screen as she heard the proof of the tiny little life inside of her. Harry moved her face and kissed her lips briefly, his eyes sparkling.

"And is it okay? The babies healthy?" Ruth asked, still a little worried.

"I'm just checking," the doctor said slowly as she moved the machine on her stomach a fraction lower. "Yep, it all looks okay here. Looks the right size for three months along and its kicking like it should be."

"I haven't felt a kick," Ruth said suddenly worried.

"No, that's right," the doctor agreed. "You won't feel it for another month or so. The movements are too small for the mother to know. But they are happening, which is the important thing. I assume you want a picture?"

"Yes," Ruth said, the biggest smile on her face. Harry's face matched her.

"I love you," he said in a low murmur. She kept her eyes fixed on their baby on the screen.

"That's amazing," she said. "I'm so happy."

"Mm," Harry agreed. He kissed her again, amazed his life had turned out like this.

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><p><em>There is lots more coming, I just have to write it first!<em>


	15. Chapter 15

During the journey home Ruth kept the picture of their baby clutched in her hand while Harry drove. "I told you, you were worried about nothing," Harry said.

"I know," she replied. "But its nice to have it confirmed. You know, officially."

"So are we telling people now?"

"Yes," Ruth said with a smile as Harry parked the car outside their house. Then she saw that another car was there first. She then recognised Erin with her daughter waiting outside.

"Hi," Erin said with a smile. "Rosie wanted to see the beach so I thought I'd visit you while the grid was slow."

"Its good to see you Erin," Harry said unlocking the front door. Rosie looked nervous with so many unfamiliar people so she held tightly to her mums leg as they walked into the living room. Ruth felt her heart melt as she looked at the little girl. She might have a little girl of her own soon. Harry put the kettle on as Ruth took her coat off. She saw Erin glance at her more rounded stomach but the younger woman tactfully didn't say anything. Ruth smiled knowingly and handed Erin the ultrasound picture. Erin looked and the realisation dawned in her face.

"Oh Ruth, that's fantastic!" Erin said hugging her tightly.

"I know," she replied, still with her arms wrapped around Erin. Harry looked at the two women and smiled. Rosie looked up at her mother completely confused and bewildered. Harry bent down to her level for a second.

"Hello Rosie, would you like some orange juice?" Rosie tilted her head as if giving it great consideration and then nodded. Harry held out his hand to the little girl and she took it after a second, seeing that her mother was still hugging the strange woman. Harry lead her through to the kitchen and poured her some juice from the fridge. He managed to find a straw and put it in the drink. Rosie took it and tilted her head again.

"Its not pink," she said. Harry chuckled.

"I'm sorry, I don't have a pink one. Will this do?" She considered again and nodded, almost skipping back to the living room. Harry laughed at her serious consideration of the most minor details. Very like her mother he considered. By the time he followed her Erin had let Ruth go and both women looked very happy.

"I'll tell the boys at work, they'll be thrilled," Erin said with a smile. Rosie pushed herself next to her mother happily slurping at her orange juice. "I'm so happy for you," she said. Harry pulled Ruth closer to him and kissed the top of her head, just before she gave him a dazzling smile.

"So are we."

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><p>Harry had gone shopping for some things that Ruth had been craving, it was better to be out when she was hungry and hormonal anyway. What he hadn't counted on was that the heavens had opened, completely drenching him the second he left the house. By the time he got back he was dripping everywhere. Ruth was upstairs and came down and into the kitchen when she head the door open.<p>

"You're going to catch your death," she said at her cold and soaking wet husband, pushing his jacket off. Her hands rested on his damp shoulders and she felt her heart rate quicken. She couldn't help it. Harry lifted her face so his eyes met hers and he could tell that she wanted him. She stretched up on her toes and kissed him passionately, her hands drifting back down to his waist and peeling his shirt away from his skin.

"Slow down," Harry whispered against her lips as her fingertips quickly unbuttoned his shirt.

"I don't want to slow down," she said breathlessly, her mouth finding his. After a second he couldn't remember why he had been arguing in the first place.

They ended up in a tangle of clothes and limbs on the kitchen floor, both breathing heavily. Ruth's hair was curling around her face and Harry thought she'd never looked more beautiful. She pulled her skirt back on and threw her T-shirt on too. She could no longer wear blouses, because they didn't fit over her stomach anymore.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked as he pulled his damp clothes back over himself.

"I'm not going to break Harry," she said exasperated. Every time he touched her recently he was so concerned that he wasn't going to hurt her. "You weren't this bad even after I was stabbed," she muttered, going to the hall mirror to make sure her hair didn't look too messed up. He followed her but his shit was still unbuttoned which didn't help her concentration. "Why are you so worried?" He looked down at the floor and she felt concerned. "What is it?"

"When Jane was pregnant… she didn't want me touching her," he said slowly. "She'd barely even let me kiss her goodnight. I don't… want you to feel that way. Or even worse, to feel like that and not tell me." She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a slow kiss.

"In case you forgot, I was the one tearing your clothes off just a short while ago. Not the other way around." She waited for a second until he smiled briefly and then kissed him again. She smiled into his mouth as one of his hands rubbed her bump gently. "Convinced you yet?" she asked with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"I love you," he murmured, one hand stroking her face.

"I love you too," Ruth replied sincerely. "Did you get the dark chocolate I wanted?" she asked changing the subject.

"Yes, its in the car," he said. She raised her eyebrows and he got the point. "I'll go get it."

"Thank you," she said in a happy voice.

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><p>"Wake up!" Ruth hissed at Harry in the middle of the night, giving him a nudge in the ribs.<p>

"What is it?" he said grumpily. "If you want me to wake up before dawn, you should think about that first before making mad passionate love to me on the kitchen floor."

"Oh, for Gods sake," she said exasperated. Rummaging under the covers she managed to find his hand and pulled it, none too gently so it was resting on her rather noticeable bump. Then the baby kicked. That was enough to make Harry wake up fully. He moved so both of his hands were resting on her bump. He felt another kick. He smiled but didn't want to say anything, just in case he missed a movement from the baby. In the silence, the movements of their baby slowly subsided.

"That's our boy," Harry said, in a way that could be said to be proud.

"Girl," Ruth replied automatically. They'd been having this argument for weeks and neither of them were giving in.

"That was amazing," Harry said in a hushed voice.

"Glad I woke you up now?" Ruth asked, her eyes sparkling.

"Yes," he said sincerely. She turned onto her side and curled around her baby bump as Harry pulled her close. Just before he drifted away Harry felt the baby move, just slightly. Like it was turning over. He smiled and closed his eyes. The three of them slept wrapped around each other. It was so wonderfully warm and comfortable. It was perfect.

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><p><em>Hope you like the happiness. Please leave a review if you liked (or hated) it. <em>

_I think in the next chapter I'm going to skip ahead a bit and Ruth might go into labour..._


	16. Chapter 16

_THANK YOU everyone for making this story pass the one hunndred review mark. So its a bit of a l__onger chapter this time. Here we go!_

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><p>Ruth stood in the kitchen debating what to eat when she felt something wrong. Really wrong. She straightened up with a hand on her bump and felt a massive gut wrenching pain go through her. She let out a grunt of pain as she held onto the kitchen counter for support. Eventually the pain subsided enough for her to put her brain in gear. "Harry?" she called. She heard movements from upstairs and knew he'd heard her.<p>

"What is it?" he asked when he reached the kitchen door.

"Something's wrong," she said, gritting her teeth as a second pain went through her stomach. "We need to go to the hospital. This… isn't right."

"Okay," Harry said instantly putting an arm around her shoulders. He tried to hide his worry and comfort her while leading her to the car. "It'll be alright, I promise."

"Its too early," she said as she sat in the car. "The baby can't be coming now, I'm barely eight months gone, its too early."

"Ruth, it will be fine," he said slowly, making sure she took in every word. "Trust me." She nodded as he turned the key in the ignition and drove quickly to the hospital. He winced every time Ruth felt a pain. No matter what he was telling his wife, this wasn't right. He hoped it wouldn't take too long to get to the hospital.

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><p>Ruth was checked in and being looked over by two midwives. Harry looked on concerned. They hadn't given her any painkillers yet either which was making him nervous. "Yep, this baby is definitely on the way," one of them.<p>

"Its too early," Ruth said breathing heavily and shaking her head. "It can't be coming now."

"I'm sorry but the baby isn't going to wait." Ruth leant back against the pillows in exasperation as the midwives left for a few minutes.

"We haven't even decorated the nursery yet," Ruth said quietly.

"I think that's the least important thing right now," Harry told her. "Stop worrying about everything. Just concentrate on the little one."

"The pain makes it sort of hard to forget," Ruth said, gritted teeth. They both knew this was going to be a hard day.

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><p>Five hours later and Ruth was in agony. Harry wasn't much better as he hated seeing her like this. She'd been moved to the delivery room but there was still no baby. Her face was covered in sweat and with every contraction she lost more energy. The midwife paused for a second.<p>

"What's the problem?" Harry asked in a gruff voice, knowing something was wrong.

"The baby's coming but its upside down. Its breeched," the midwife said. "Ruth, you're going to have to push harder. I know its hard."

"I can't," she breathed desperately, shaking her head.

"You can," Harry said trying his best to keep her going. "Come on, Ruth. You have to push. Its nearly over."

"I hate it when you lie to me," she muttered with a vague smile. Harry smiled too, glad to see something other than pain on her face. She gripped Harry's hand tightly and pushed for all she was worth.

"Okay," the midwife said. "Well done, legs out. Just one more push and your baby will be here."

"Oh God," she breathed. Holding tight to his hand she pushed again, feeling as if her body was ripping apart. And then the pain had gone. She collapsed on the pillows, completely exhausted. But the room was too quiet. "Why isn't the baby crying?" Ruth asked breathlessly, looking around the room for her child. "There's no noise, The baby isn't crying. Harry," she said in that warning tone he knew so well. He left her bedside and rushed to the doctors who were working on the baby.

"What is it!" he demanded.

"She isn't breathing," one said without looking up from the newborn.

"She?" Ruth asked from the bed, trying not to focus on the end of that sentence.

"Do something!" Harry yelled, trying not to think about the horrible possibility that was coming to the forefront of his mind. The doctors ignored him and continued to work on the baby, who's skin was tinged with blue. "No this can't be happening," he murmured over and over like a mantra. Then he heard it. The wonderful sound of his daughter bawling. "Oh thank God," he breathed. He turned back to Ruth and saw that she was silently crying.

"Tell me she's alright," Ruth begged. "Please tell me she's okay." Harry sat next to her and held her hand tightly.

"She's okay," he said quietly. "Just listen, she's crying." Harry kept his mouth shut and saw the relief on her face when she heard it.

"I want to hold her," Ruth said firmly, wiping her tears away. The midwife had wrapped the baby up and carefully handed her to the new mother. Now that the baby had discovered her lungs she was screaming at the top of her voice. Ruth rocked the baby feeling her heart explode with love and happiness. "Oh, she's beautiful," Ruth murmured, kissing her babies head as the cries started to subside slightly. Harry had one arm around Ruth, the other stroking the babies cheek lightly.

"You were right then," Harry said. "A little girl."

"I'm always right, Harry." She spared her husband a brief glance and smile before her attention turned back to her newborn who had now gone silent as anything. Just as Ruth was about to say something her daughters eyelids fluttered open. The baby looked right at her. Ruth smiled and Harry felt his heart stop when he saw those beautifully familiar blue eyes on his daughter.

"Oh Christ," he murmured shaking his head. "I now have two women with hypnotising blue eyes living in my house." Ruth laughed lightly.

"Are my eyes that effective?" she asked still looking at her daughter.

"Honestly, yes."

"Do we have a name?" the midwife asked looking at the happy family all together for the first time.

"No, not at the moment," Harry said watching his wife cradle his daughter. The midwife smiled and left them alone for some privacy. "Can I… hold her?" Harry asked. Ruth smiled and nodded, carefully passing their daughter over to him. She watched with a massive smile as the two people she loved most in the world had their eyes glued to each other.

"She's going to have you wrapped around her little finger isn't she?" Ruth asked.

"I think she probably will," Harry said in a soft voice she had never heard from him before. "Won't you my darling girl?"

"Harry, I'm exhausted. Let me kiss her once more before I fall asleep." Harry smiled and let Ruth kiss the top of her head. By the time he looked at his wife, she'd already drifted off.

"You've already tired your mum out," he whispered to the baby. "You're going to turn our lives upside down, and you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way my beautiful little girl."

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><p>Hours later there was a light knock on the door and Harry looked waiting for it to open. It was Catherine.<p>

"Hi," she said happily, looking at the small bundle in Harry's arms. "Thanks for calling," Catherine added. "So, do I have a little brother or a little sister?"

"It's a girl," Harry replied as Catherine sat down next to him. The baby was asleep and Catherine stroked her cheek softly.

"She is gorgeous," Catherine said honestly.

"You should see her when her eyes are open," Harry said, looking at his elder daughter. "You didn't have to come all this way you know."

"I wanted to," she replied. "So Ruth's a bit tired is she?"

"It was difficult," Harry said slowly. "When she was born, she wasn't breathing and she turned blue."

"Oh, God," Catherine said, clearly worried. "Are they both okay?"

"Yes, but it wasn't easy," Harry said. "Plus this little one is a little underweight because she was so early. She'll be fine."

"Has she got a name?" Catherine asked.

"No," Harry said. "I think I'm on the losing side though. I thought it would be a boy. Ruth thought it'd be a girl." There was a pause while they both looked at the baby. "Do you want to hold her?" Harry asked. Catherine nodded happily and Harry handed the small bundle to his elder child. With the movement the baby opened her bright blue eyes and looked at Catherine.

"Oh God, its no wonder you're in love with her already," Catherine said. "She looks just like Ruth."

"I know," Harry said.

"I've never held a newborn before," Catherine said nervously.

"I trust you," Harry said.

"You know, she's got your pout," Catherine said.

"I don't pout," Harry said.

"You do," came a quiet voice from the bed. Harry turned and looked at Ruth who was waking. "How is she?"

"The doctor checked her and she's fine," Harry reassured his wife gripping her hand tightly. "She's a little underweight, but its okay," he quickly added at Ruth's expression. "They just want to keep an eye on her for a few days."

"Okay," Ruth said. "Hi Catherine," she added, seeing Harry's elder daughter.

"She's beautiful," Catherine repeated handing the baby back to the mother. "But she needs a name."

"I know but I have no idea," Ruth said looking at Harry. "It took nine years for me to agree to marry you, how on earth are we going to agree on her name?"

"Don't ask," Harry said to Catherine's questioning look. "How about Lucy?" Harry suggested

"No, she doesn't feel like a Lucy," Ruth said slowly. "I like Jamie but I have a feeling you won't."

"Jamie? You are aware she's a girl.

"I like Jamie for a girl," Ruth said with a smile.

"No," Harry said firmly. "Megan?"

"No. Beatrice?"

"No," Harry said. "Haley?"

"No." They both turned around as Catherine started laughing.

"God help you both," Catherine said. "I'm sorry dad but I have to go. I have a flight to catch. I'm cutting it fine as it is."

"Go," Ruth said.

"Thank you for coming," Harry said sincerely. Catherine leant over the baby and kissed her forehead. She straightened up and gave her father a hug.

"Bye dad." They all smiled as Catherine closed the door on the happy family.

"We're never going to agree," Ruth said.

"We will," Harry said. "Are you okay on your own for a while. I have to call the grid and let them know you're both okay."

"I didn't even think of that," Ruth said. "Go. I'll be more than fine with her. Even nameless as she is." Harry kissed both of them and then left the room. He picked up his mobile and called the grid. Erin picked up relatively quickly.

"Hi Erin," he said.

"Harry, everything okay?"

"Ruth's had the baby," Harry said bluntly.

"What?" Erin blurted in the most un-Erin like way he'd ever heard. "I didn't think she was due for a month!"

"She wasn't," Harry said with a slightly dark tone of voice.

"Are they both okay?"

"Yes, we have a healthy baby girl."

"Oh, I'm so pleased." There was a pause in the conversation and Harry could tell someone had come up. "Harry, do you mind if I put you on speaker? Dimitri and Callum are here."

"Carry on." There was a vague collection of congratulations and then Harry asked them for a favour.

* * *

><p><em>By the way, I was born blue and didn't breathe for three minutes, so I feel fairly safe in saying that the baby would have been okay.<em>

_I'm not sure how much more there is left of this story, but reviews do encourage me! xxx_


	17. Chapter 17

Harry parked the car and looked in the mirror at his sleeping baby girl while Ruth went around to pick her up. She still had no name but she had certainly become the centre of their world in such a short time. Ruth held her baby girl close to her chest and kissed the top of her head before Harry unlocked the door.

"Can I hold her?" Harry asked in the hall. Ruth pretended to be upset and reluctantly handed her daughter over to him.

"I just love her so much," Ruth said, holding her daughter's hand lightly. Harry kissed her head and then turned to his wife.

"I have a surprise for you."

"You've been with us in the hospital for a week," Ruth said. "What surprise could you possibly have?"

"Go up to the nursery," he said in a quiet voice.

"You haven't," she whispered.

"Go on." Ruth stroked her baby once more and then did what he asked while he sat in the living room, playing with his daughter. Ruth opened the door to the nursery and her breath caught.

"Hope you like it," Dimitri said as Callum looked quite impressed with their handy work. Ruth chose not to mention that Dimitri had a line of yellow paint down his face. It was so gorgeous. The walls had been painted bright yellow and there was just a hint of pink in the room, blankets and such like. They had built up a cot and there were baby clothes and teddy's resting on a chest of drawers. It was just what she wanted for her child.

"Its perfect," she said sincerely, touching the baby clothes lightly. "Thank you."

"Harry called in a favour," Callum said. He turned around and Ruth held in her laugh as she saw a yellow handprint on his jacket. Clearly they had been having fun. "So where is the baby?" Callum asked.

"Little miss no name is practising wrapping her father around her little finger," Ruth said with a smile.

"I didn't know Harry could be wrapped around anyone's little finger," Dimitri said as they trouped downstairs. "Except yours Ruth, obviously."

"Well, she does have my eyes," Ruth said feeling her face smile again.

"Ah, that'd explain it," Callum said simply as they went and saw Harry cuddling his daughter.

"You two have some explaining to do," Dimitri said as he sat down. "Why hasn't she got a name yet?"

"We can't agree," Ruth said putting the kettle on in the kitchen.

"No surprises there," Callum said sarcastically.

"Do you want to hold her?" Harry asked Dimitri, ignoring Callum's comment. Dimitri nodded and Harry carefully handed her over. It was at this point that the baby opened her eyes. Even when she was being held by Dimitri, she was looking at her father with big Ruth-like eyes.

"Doing exactly what her mother used to do from across the grid," Callum said. Harry smiled, unable to deny it, and unwilling to do so.

"I assume Erin is making sure the country doesn't blow up?" Ruth asked as she handed everyone their drinks.

"Yes she is," Dimitri said. "Don't I get a coffee?"

"You're holding my baby," Ruth said bluntly. "Hot drinks go nowhere near my daughter okay?"

Harry put an arm around Ruth's waist loving her protectiveness. "What do you think of the nursery?" he asked her.

"Its perfect. I was a little worried she'd have nowhere to sleep tonight, but I think we'll manage."

"That's the thanks we get," Callum said shaking his head.

"I'm letting you two idiots hold my child," Ruth said with a smile as Dimitri handed the baby over to Callum. "That should show how much I trust you two."

"Do I get a drink now?" Dimitri asked.

"Its in the kitchen," Ruth said.

"Julia?" Harry said suddenly looking at his daughter. "For her. Julia."

"I like Julia," Ruth said quietly.

"So that's it?" Harry asked. "She actually has a name?"

"Yes," Ruth said as Callum handed her the newly named baby back. Ruth kissed the baby and nodded. "Julia Pearce sounds perfect." Everyone had massive smiles on their faces when two mobile phones started ringing. The two boys sighed simultaneously and made the predictable announcement that they had to go back to the grid. They said goodbye and much to Ruth's surprise Dimitri kissed her cheek before going. Ruth cradled her baby and murmured to her, "Julia Pearce."

"I think that's perfect for her," Harry said.

"You're just saying that because it was your suggestion," Ruth said with a glare. Which softened when he kissed her softly. They were interrupted by the baby crying. "I think she's hungry."

"Me too," Harry said. "You feed her and I'll get some food on for us."

"In a second," Ruth whispered kissing Harry again. Julia's crying went up another notch and Ruth rolled her eyes as she broke away from him. "Alright baby," she said in a soft voice. "Mama's here."

* * *

><p><em>spooksfan08, I'd have loved to have used your suggestions but xxmentalistxxspooksxx had already used them! Didn't want to use the same name twice!<em>

_Well guessed theoofoof xxx_

_There are two more chapters to go. One filled with a bit of drama and the next is fluff filled goodness._


	18. Chapter 18

Ruth was just about to put the baby to sleep when the doorbell rang. Julia's eyes went wide with surprise and Ruth laughed. "I'll get it," she called to Harry. She was only two steps from the door anyway. She opened it and the smile fell off of her face. Sasha Gavrik stood there. The man who had almost killed her. "Harry!" Ruth held the baby tightly in her arms and could tell that Julia was uncomfortable but she wasn't going to let go. She wanted her baby as close to her as possible. She couldn't tear his eyes away from Sasha. The man who nearly killed her. The one good thing was that his hands were held up in the air in a kind of mock surrender and he didn't have a murderous look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked as he came around the corner. Then he saw Sasha on the doorstep. He stepped in front of his wife and child in seconds. "Take the baby inside," Harry said firmly, his eyes constantly on Sasha. "Ruth, take Julia upstairs and go." She kept Julia close to her chest and hurried upstairs. She put Julia in her cot, ignoring the babies crying and then knelt on her bedroom floor She knew Harry kept a handgun under the floorboards. They'd both been spies for too long to be unprepared. Within moments she had the gun in her hand and made sure it was loaded. Julia was still crying but Ruth tried to ignore her babies distress. If Sasha hurt Harry, the baby crying would be the least of her worries. She raced downstairs and saw Harry still standing at the door. She approached him behind and silently and secretly passed him the gun. Harry held it tightly in his right hand as Ruth looked over his shoulder into Sasha's eyes.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"He's not going to hurt you," Harry said, keeping his eyes on the Russian. "Are you?"

"No," Sasha said. "I'm sorry." He turned and left. Harry shut the door double locking it.

"What did he want?" Ruth asked, her breathing really shallow.

"Calm down," Harry said firmly, seeing how much this was effecting her. "He won't hurt you. He won't be back. You sit down and I'll deal with Julia. I'll be back to talk to you when she's asleep." At that moment Ruth realised that Julia was screaming at the top of her lungs. She felt slightly guilty that she hadn't even heard her babies cries, but by the time she thought this, Harry was already soothing her. Ruth collapsed on the sofa and she couldn't stop the tears that started to fall. The man who had so very nearly killed her turned up on her doorstep. For a moment he had been less than three feet away from Julia. She felt ice grip her at the thought he could have harmed her child.

"Is she okay?" Ruth asked as Harry wrapped an arm around her on the sofa.

"She's fine," Harry assured her. "I'm more worried about you."

"What the hell was he doing here?" Ruth asked, feeling the tears start again.

"Believe it or not he wanted to apologise," Harry said.

"Not," Ruth said.

"He said he was angry at the time and he moved without thinking. He's not speaking to his father now. He said he didn't intend for you to die.

"Only took him the best part of a year to tell us that," Ruth grumbled. "I'm wondering why I don't think he's sincere."

"I think he meant it actually. And it was probably my fault that it took a year," Harry said. Ruth looked at him and waited. "I've had a bit more protection added to the house. It doesn't appear on any databases. Not MI5, not FSB, not CIA. Its like its invisible. To all country's intelligence services, this building doesn't exist. I didn't want anyone to try and find us. I wanted my family safe."

"Thank you," Ruth said sincerely. "I wasn't exactly thrilled to see the man who almost killed me."

"Me neither." Ruth closed her eyes and leant into Harry's shoulder as he stroked her hair. "You're safe," he murmured to her. He repeated that over and over again until she drifted off to sleep. "I love you. He isn't going to hurt you."

* * *

><p><em>This came from the end of S10 when Callum called the helicopter. Sasha was looking over his shoulder and I thought he looked a little remorseful. I don't think he intended to kill Ruth but I might be making that up from wishful thinking! A review will make me smile and the last chapter will be up soon.<em>


	19. And finally

Harry came home and was surprised to find the house quiet. He had been down the pub for a quiet drink with Dimitri before the latter had to go back to London. "Ruth?" he called lightly, just in case the baby was asleep. No answer. He went upstairs, pocketing his keys as he did so. "Ruth?" he repeated.

"We're in here," her voice came from the bathroom. Harry knocked once and pushed the door open slightly. His heart stopped. Ruth was in the bath with Julia and they both had smiles on their faces. Julia had learnt to smile just the week before. "Say hi to daddy," Ruth said lightly to her daughter as she splashed around in the tub, bubbles flying lightly in the air. Ruth raised Julia's arm in a small wave as they both looked at Harry.

"God, you both are gorgeous," Harry said in a hoarse whisper. Ruth smiled and rubbed her nose with her daughter. Harry approached the bath and crouched down, rubbing his daughters head lightly, then kissed Ruth's hair too. "You are aware that you are completely irresistible like that," he said sincerely. Ruth couldn't help the smile that blossomed on her face. "Come on gorgeous," he said to Julia, lifting her out of the bath and drying her gently. Ruth watched as Harry lovingly dried and then dressed their daughter. Julia was a good baby and hardly ever cried, much to her parents relief. When she was dressed he picked her up and cuddled her, rocking her from side to side the way he knew she liked. Julia gurgled lightly and Ruth smiled.

"I love you," she said, smiling at her family. Harry smiled back and then turned his attention back to Julia. "Right, my beautiful girl, time to get you to bed."

"Isn't it a tad early?" Ruth said, a light teasing coming into her voice.

"Not when you look like that," Harry murmured and Ruth blushed slightly. "Your mummy is beautiful isn't she?" Harry cooed to the baby as he took Julia to the nursery. When alone, she pulled herself out of the bath and quickly dried herself. She was looking forward to tonight. She pulled her dressing gown over herself and went through to the bedroom. Harry was still putting Julia to bed, or more likely admiring his daughter so she stood by the window looking out into the darkness.

It was the depths of a cold January and it seemed that every time she looked out of the window it was dark. But it was a clear night tonight. The stars were twinkling, and she loved looking at them. In London you could never see them and she never got bored of watching them now she was away from the city. The moon was almost full and it was shining down on the ground. It looked so pretty with the coolness settling down into what she was sure would be a frost come the morning.

She didn't move as she felt Harry's hands wrap around her waist. She did smile as he kissed her neck, brushing aside her damp curls. "Is she asleep?" Ruth murmured. She felt Harry nod once as his hands pushed material away from her thighs.

"Take your time why don't you?" she whispered as she turned around in his arms.

"Can I help it that you look completely ravishing, almost all of the time?" Harry asked, his eyes glinting at hers in the moonlight. Then he saw a tear escape and work its way down his wife's face. "Oh, what's wrong?" he asked as she buried her head in his chest.

"I am so happy," she replied quietly. "I didn't think it was possible to love someone like this. Let alone two someone's. I am so happy."

"Look at me," Harry said quietly. She did. "I am very happy too."

"Good." Words were no longer necessary between the two of them. Harry brushed his lips softly against hers. She didn't need much persuasion to deepen the kiss, both sets of hands wandering casually over each others bodies. She loved the way they fit together in every possible way. Bodies, hearts and minds, all seemed tied perfectly together for the two of them. Harry ran his hand down her arm and caught her left hand tightly in his. Her engagement ring sparkled in the light, just the way her eyes did when she looked at him. He kissed her again and didn't stop. Until Julia decided she needed some attention and was crying loudly.

"I'll get her," Harry murmured, his hand reluctantly leaving his wife's body. Ruth looked outside once more and then firmly closed the curtains. They were going to have an enjoyable night tonight.

* * *

><p><em>And thats the end! A last review really would make me smile! <em>

_Also, if you haven't had enough of my HR stuff I've posted an M rated fic last night too, if you want to have a look._

_Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading, and especially reviewing! xxx_


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